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10/24/2012 05:00 AM

Child Wellness: Setting reasonable limits for your college-aged child

Is your son or daughter away at college and soon to visit you for the weekend? Don't be surprised if the visit is a bit more stressful that you expected. Marcie Fraser reports.

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When teens go off to college on their own, there is plenty to be concerned about.

"It's the first time they are being complete independent, so they are going have exposure to drugs, going to have exposure to alcohol," said Dr. Allen Stefane, an adolescent psychiatrist.

Most students do very well with campus pressure, and by the time they come back for a visit, they will be a bit different.

Should your college student still be under a curfew when they visit?

"By law they are 18, they can do what they want, but if they are staying under your roof, you have rules in your household and they usually they understand this," said Dr. Stefane.

Yes, curfews are still okay, but give them a little wiggle room.

"Give them guidance and give them support but let go and let them fly and make some mistakes, hopefully they will not make mistakes that are going to be life changing," said Dr. Stefane.


Part of growing up at college is that your child will be responsible and independent. Be careful when establishing your at-home guidelines; there is a fine line.

“It's your house, you are the parents, you are in charge. You have the rules of your household, make them reasonable for an adult. You don't want an 18-, 19-, 20-year-old coming home at 9 p.m., it's not going to work, but make it reasonable so there is peace and harmony under your roof," said Dr. Stefane.


"Know students can handle more responsibility and can handle more than they did in high school and recognize that and give them more freedom to do that," suggested Stephanie Vaughn, a college sophomore.